It’s hard to take when an elderly parent refuses help. You love your parents very much and you would do anything for them. For many years they look after you, even when you move out from the family home. No matter where you are in the world, your parents will always look out for you but there comes a time when the situation turns.

As your parents get older and reach the elderly stage of their life, it can become apparent they need support with their everyday lives. While it might be obvious to you, it can sometimes not appear so for them. Your elderly Mum or Dad may resist having in-home carers as they don’t want to be waited on. However, if the signs are there you know something must be done.

Sova Healthcare are specialists in home care services and understand the difficulties in having this conversation. We’ve put together a list of advice for approaching your elderly parents when they refuse help they need.

1. Start Early

It is imperative you start a conversation with your parent early before any potential health issue could start. The talk doesn’t even have to directly mention “carers” or “care at home”, as these words are likely to trigger a reaction that ends the conversation. Ask questions such as “Where do you see yourself as you get older?” or “Have you thought about getting a housekeeper to help around the house?”. These lead in questions without the mentions of care would help strike a conversation that helps both parties early on. This can also help you understand why they refuse to consider support from health care services.

2. Getting Older Is Scary So Be Understanding

In Donna Cohen’s book, “The Loss of Self: A Family Resource for the Care of Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Disorders” she advised that understanding the fear of getting old is better than insisting they get help for themselves. Most elderly people know about the issues that they are potentially suffering from. However, anger could spring from believing their children aren’t capable of understanding their issues emotionally and physically. That connection is vital in having those difficult conversations about considering care options.

3. Stand By Your Parents No Matter What

When you reach a certain age, you are used to being okay on your own because it is what we must do as adults. However, it’s difficult to accept when this situation changes. If the situation is addressed there is a possibility of your ageing parent using a coping mechanism, such as shouting or storming out of rooms, like you would have done as a child to them. This can cause a lot of stress, but that doesn’t mean you should give up on getting the care that is best for them. Help them out where you can and let them enjoy that support from you before tackling domiciliary care or any other type of home care service.

4. Give Your Parents Option

Putting restrictions on your parents future will not help stop their refusal of help. Assisted living or in-home care can seem like their freedom is being taken from them. A feeling of having no independence or options to choose themselves will make them continue to refuse support. By giving your Mum or Dad options, it makes them realise that their opinion is still valued and they are still an independent person. If you are looking to set up an appointment for them, ask for their preferred date and time. They likely have hobbies which they enjoy and don’t want to feel restricted in continuing them. Explain that their carer is a companion not someone there to tell them what to do.

5. Create a List of Issues and Priorities

The need for caregiving and assisted living for an individual is a two-way thing, so problems can be experienced by both sides. Reduce potential problems by listing priorities. Will your parent need weekly or monthly appointments at the doctors? Should you hire someone to help around the house? If your parent suffers from dementia, they cannot attend to their household chores any more, so hiring a housekeeper would be beneficial.

6. Take Your Time

You love your parents and you want the best for them, but you can’t rush into situations. If you feel they need to go to a doctor but are worried about taking them, could you ask the doctor to do a home visit? This way, it can feel like a less formal assessment which could scare your Mum or Dad into refusing to see them.

7. Seek Expert Advice

The signs around the home and in your parent’s behaviour might be obvious to you that something is wrong, but sometimes it takes professional advice to convince them of this. Talking to doctors or even social workers can help convince an elderly person of their situation. They could detail the potential problems without help from a carer and provide questions your parent might have about possible treatments.

Our expert team offer health screenings in Birmingham, Leicester and Bradford can provide a full health check alongside our expert advice. Our assessment can tell your elderly parents if they are at risk of having a stroke, developing diabetes or other health ailments. We can also provide a screening in their home if your Mum or Dad prefer. Our assessment can then inform you on whether health care arrangements need to be made.

Contact us today about our home care and specialist care services or download our brochure.

We’re in the middle of a heatwave and the UK is enjoying some of the hottest weather we’ve ever experienced. From the sunbathing to the barbecues, this beautiful weather offers a lot of positives, but not everyone enjoys it. Whilst the hot weather is putting the majority of the UK in a great mood, the rising temperatures can lead to a long list of health problems, especially for the elderly.

At Sova Healthcare, we’re a leading provider of private home care and domiciliary care services across the the UK. To support family members and carers, we’ve put a list of tips together to help you care for the elderly during a heatwave, so that they can stay safe and enjoy the beautiful weather.

Symptoms of Overheating

In order to keep your loved ones safe and comfortable during a heatwave and the summer season, it is crucial that you’re able to recognise the symptoms of overheating, heat stroke and heat exhaustion. Symptoms of overheating include:

• Headaches
• Tiredness
• Confusion
• Behavioural changes
• Feeling sick
• Feeling dizzy and weak
• Fainting or feeling faint
• Muscle spasms or cramps
• Swollen ankles
• Thirstiness
• Dark urine

What is heat exhaustion and heatstroke?

Heat exhaustion is triggered when your core temperature reaches at least least 104°F. If left untreated, heat exhaustion can lead to heatstroke. Heatstroke is much more serious than heat exhaustion, as it can lead to shock, organ failure and even brain damage. In extreme cases, heatstroke leads to death.

What causes heat exhaustion and heatstroke?

When your body cannot cool itself and its core temperature is raised, it can lead to heat-related illnesses. In order to stay cool when the climate is hot, your body dissolves sweat. However, during hotter, humid days, the increased moisture in the air slows the sweating process , making it difficult for your body to cool down. This, in turn causes your temperature to rise even further, which leads you to become ill. Dementia patients are more at risk of heat exhaustion and heat stroke during the hotter months, as they may forget to wear lighter clothing, or stay hydrated - which poses a huge risk.

How to keep your loved ones cool

Staying cool during the summer months requires much more than just drinking iced water. In order to keep your elderly relatives, friends and patients safe, you should:

1. Give them time to refresh

Having regular cool showers, baths and washes is a great way to lower body temperature, and is a great way to keep someone feeling refreshed. People with dementia may forget to wash or shower - you just need to be patient and suggest that they cool down with a quick wash or cold shower. If you’re planning on going out on a day trip or excursion, you should take some damp washcloths in a cool bag with an ice pack. This is a great way of quickly cooling someone. If your relative is suffering from dementia and becomes confused or irritated by you giving them cool washcloths, be patient and explain what you are doing. Find out more about how to communicate with a person with dementia.

2. Take a rest

Maintaining a healthy, active lifestyle is always encouraged - even more so for patients with dementia and other diseases. However, during the hotter months you should keep strenuous physical activity to a minimum, as it can cause excess sweating, which leads to dehydration, and will hinder the body’s ability to stay cool.

3. Eat cool foods

To ensure your elderly relative, patient or friend is consuming enough water, you should give them foods with high water content - the benefit of this is that it will also help them stay cool.

Salad foods such as cucumber, iceberg lettuce and celery, vegetables such as cauliflower and peppers; and fruits like strawberries, grapefruit and melon are ideal! Depending on what stage of dementia (find out more about the seven stages of dementia) your loved one or patient is at, you should consider whether they can safely swallow these foods.

4. Wear lighter clothing

Cotton clothing and looser tops, dresses and shorts are a simple way to help maintain a safe core temperature. Avoid tight clothing and darker colours, as they tend to absorb heat.

5. Don't go outside during peak hours

The day is hottest between 11am and 3pm. During this time, you should stay somewhere cool, and only go outside during the cooler times of the day– before 11am and after 3pm.

6. Close blinds and curtains

Closing blinds and curtains during the day is a great way to stop the sun shining inside a room and heating it up!

If you or a loved one have been diagnosed with dementia, why not reach out to one of our friendly professional team to see what we can do to help and support you every step of the way.

Accounting for reduced mobility

Ensuring that older people keep warm

Visiting and checking up regularly

Older people can be lonely